Unconditional love is a skill. It means you love someone no matter what. You love them when they don’t meet your expectations. You love them when they come up short. You love them when they get it wrong.
When we remember that contrast is part of the human experience, we stop using it as an excuse not to love someone. Practicing loving unconditionally lets us love ourselves unconditionally too.
We all deserve love 100% of the time, no matter what. We deserve to feel it. We deserve to know it.
Unconditional love means that you feel love toward them no matter what they do. You do this for your own sake. Because it feels good. It doesn’t mean that we don’t have boundaries and we don’t leave when necessary. It just means that we don’t have to feel hate or anger doing it. We don’t have to react.
What most of us do is deny love when people don’t do something we want them to do. This is always optional. In reality that just punishes ourself, although we tried to punish the other person in an attempt to control them.
People make mistakes and do things from a place of pain. We can hate them for it, or love them as humans. We can choose unconditional love.
Just because they are behaving the way you want them to behave doesn’t mean they love you. You should not make this be the reason to love them. Use them as an excuse to feel love all of the time.
We don’t have to put conditions on our love. We get to feel love no matter what the other person does. It’s such a great choice.
Pick someone you have a bit of trouble loving and want to improve your relationship with them.
Do you love this person unconditionally? Why or why not? Write down when you do love them and when you try to withhold love or not feel love for this person. Remember, their lovability is 100%, so what’s your excuse when you don’t love them?
How do you show up in this relationship? Do you show up knowing that your lovability is 100%? Do you try to get them to love you more for your sake? How? Does it work? Why or why not?