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Don’t Try to Change Them

Adults get to do whatever they want. 

Trying to control them is futile. 

They don’t like it. Haven’t you noticed? 

You get to be and do whatever you want. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. Even if someone really wants you to. This does not make you selfish. This makes you a human being with free will. You aren’t responsible for how someone feels if you don’t want to do something. 

Adults can lie, cheat, steal, come home late, forget, smell, and leave their stuff all over the house. 

You can complain, yell, be passive aggressive, give them the cold shoulder, or freak out all you want. 

But when you start to let go of the idea of control, you have so much more energy. You start to realize how much energy you are wasting trying to get others to behave in a way that makes you happy. You just work on your own thoughts, and you feel happy. 

You don’t have to change them at all. And they appreciate it. 

There’s nothing better than being with someone who just loves you for who you are and isn’t always trying to make you be a better version of yourself. 

It’s also interesting how much more fun it is to pick up your clothes off the floor because you want to, not because someone is guilting you into it. 

You have to let go and let adults be adults. 

Remember, we are all a beautiful mess. And that’s okay.

Pick someone you have a bit of trouble loving and want to improve your relationship with them. 

Allow them to be who they are meant to be. Who are they? What do they do? How do they act? What are they consistent in? If you aren’t trying to control or interfere, who are they in their actions?

Why do you imagine they do these things and are this way? What do you imagine their thoughts are that are driving their actions?

If you would like to continue this work with me, then schedule a free trial coaching session.