One of my favorite things about living abroad are the different kinds of people you meet and befriend. When you are living overseas and trying to make new friends, you don’t have a common past to fall back on, or sometimes much in common except your new home. You’ll find yourself HANGING out with people that you might not have been friends with back home. I have loved that aspect of living overseas, although sometimes it is easier to appreciate when reflecting back. At the time I was probably missing my old friends and feeling misunderstood and out of place.
I had the privilege of meeting a great friend and positive influence in my life when I moved to Frankfurt without my husband joining me. She had also just started teaching at the same international school, and was also recently married to a non-teaching European. She was from a completely different background than me including nationality. She often asked me what I meant when I said a particular word or phrase. Interestingly I would find that the same word or phrase had a completely different meaning where she was from, often a derogatory one. We giggled so often at the absolute misconceptions we never would have understood without each other’s perspective.
She was a great influence who pushed me to learn the language, saying what better place and time to learn German than when living in Germany surrounded by the language everyday. She pushed me and others within the school to be better educators and to question our beliefs, practices and policies. She pushed me to have more fun, to laugh out loud more often, and to be more active. I have Suzanne to thank for showing me how to make the most of my experience overseas. Truthfully, we met by chance, by having our work space next to each other because we had both showed up a day late for the start of school and all the other work spaces had been taken. Had I been in my home country surrounded by my long-time friends, we likely never would have even exchanged our first conversation.
These opportunities to open your minds and hearts to new people, new experiences and new adventures are the best of the expat experience. But you have to be willing to put yourself out there, and to give new people a chance.
Some expats I know like to find and surround themselves with people just like them or just like their friends from home. I can see the comfort, familiarity and camaraderie that offers, and I’m not telling you to stay away from these folks. I am going to encourage you to get out of your comfort zone and give new people that you meet that are nothing like you a chance. It’s the best way to broaden your perspectives and grow as a person.
Many people say that you become who and what you surround yourself with. If you always HUNG out with the same people and had the same thoughts, you would get the same results in your life and never change or evolve. If you want to change your life and get better results, you need to change your thoughts. Realize the influence that the people that you spend time with have on your thoughts, and therefore on your results and your life.
HANG out with 10 exceptionally fit people this year and you will naturally get into better shape. HANG out with people who complain constantly about the host country, and you will find it harder to love your new home. When you are around people who are embracing the host country, you will find so much more to love.
Are the people you HANG with supportive of you, even when things go really well? That’s important. That’s when some people feel threatened. If they are negative, you will be affected in a negative way. You want to HANG with people who are totally on your side.
When you’re around people doing awesome things, you remember that anything is possible. You remember that you are unlimited and can do absolutely anything.
You are a direct result of the thoughts that you think and the people that you spend time with. I want to encourage you to find your positive influence, your Suzanne, and to be the positive influence, the Suzanne for others. I especially want to thank her for all she has done for me. I hope there is at least one person out there who I can positively influence for their expat experience the same way she did.
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