After almost a year of living overseas in Berlin, my husband told me that his company was merging and that he was being relocated to Frankfurt. I can’t say that I had built a fantastic life in Berlin in that year that I was sad to leave. I had spent a year learning German, and most of the people that I met through the language school had left after just a few months. I didn’t have many friends outside of my husband and his friends. But I did enjoy living in Berlin, and had used my time to explore the city and to acclimate to living in Germany. That proved helpful in preparing for my next move.
This time I had some ideas of how to go about looking for a job. I contacted some places and got an interview. The interview was so strange. They didn’t ask me a single question about myself or my qualifications. When I spoke with my husband on the phone, I admitted that I wasn’t really keen on working there and asked him how desperate we were for me to work. He said, “Very desperate.” When they offered me a job and asked me to move within the week, I said yes, and off I went. Alone.
Shortly after getting there on my own, it turns out that the merger did not go through for my husband’s company, so I was on my own in Frankfurt while he stayed in Berlin. I hadn’t worked in over a year and I found myself alone in a foreign city. I was really scared. I was lacking in SELF-CONFIDENCE.
The definition of SELF-CONFIDENCE says to be secure in yourself and your abilities. Most of us aren’t SELF-CONFIDENT. Why? We don’t trust ourselves. We feel out of control with our feelings and actions because we don’t understand how to manage our minds. This leads us to let ourselves down consistently. This undermines our ability to trust ourselves and stay in integrity.
I was afraid of feeling scared so I tried to hide and avoid feeling it. This left me scared to do anything that had the risk of failure. We are always questioning our ability because we have to do it perfectly. We don’t spend a lot of time thinking highly of ourselves. Our brains are programmed to see what’s wrong, so that’s what it’s always looking for. It finds negative thoughts that create negative emotions. This is the opposite of SELF-CONFIDENCE.
Your brain does not produce SELF-CONFIDENCE naturally. It produces fear, worry, and doubt. You have to work against your humanness, your programming, your beliefs and your thinking. You have to train your brain to produce SELF-CONFIDENCE naturally. Fear doesn’t prevent SELF-CONFIDENCE. The unwillingness to feel fear does.
Increasing SELF-CONFIDENCE comes from changing your thoughts about yourself. You can increase it by considering the possibility of what you can create in the future. The more certain you are of the possibility, the more confidence you will have moving toward it.
We have to be willing to experience discomfort consistently in order to be SELF-CONFIDENT. We give up SELF-CONFIDENCE for the illusion of safety, security, and consistency, but really, the opposite happens. We are just failing ahead of time.
Some of the thoughts I used to produce SELF-CONFIDENCE were: I got this. Worry only pretends to be necessary. Actions increase capability and capability increases confidence. Do the stuff you are scared to do. Make decisions. Fear is no big deal.
In reality I had to fake SELF-CONFIDENCE for a while until I really believed in myself. Thankfully it worked, and I made it through my second transition. Not only did I make it through, but I believe it went better than my initial transition overseas.
Rely on your belief that you can handle anything because everything is just a feeling, and you understand where feelings come from – your thoughts. SELF-CONFIDENCE is practiced self-belief. You have to be certain about yourself and your amazingness.
SELF-CONFIDENCE is wonderful for you and the people around you. They will love being in your energy of abundance. It will feel attractive and will create attraction. It exudes positivity, and that is attractive. We love to be around people who help us feel better. SELF-CONFIDENT people have positive thoughts about themselves which in turn create positive thoughts toward others. SELF-CONFIDENT people do not feel the need to put others down or judge others to feel good about themselves. They are a joy to be around.
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