You will know if you aren’t liking yourself properly if you have a lot of PEOPLE-PLEASING pain. This is caused by spending an inordinate amount of time worrying about what other people think of you. You will try to get them to like you by doing what you think they want. You will do this at your own expense, at the expense of what you really want. You will feel resentful and frustrated when people don’t do the same or appreciate the sacrifices you are making. This is the opposite of enjoying being yourself.
Often, my clients will be afraid that if they only pay attention to what they want, they will be selfish. But the truth is, as humans we have an intrinsic desire to give. When we pay attention and give to ourselves first, we increase our capacity to give from the heart, and not in an attempt to get people to like us.
The other part will be learning the process of letting others think what they want to think about you. This is difficult for most of us if we have become dependent on other people to try and feel good. The truth is, we can’t control what they think even when we try. They will always get to choose what they want to believe about us. What they believe is about them, not us. When we show up in a way that is authentic, we can see who the people are who like us for us and not for the PEOPLE-PLEASING we have been doing.
Pick one area in your life where you are settling, PEOPLE-PLEASING, or tolerating. This includes spending time with people you don’t enjoy, overconsuming anything, doing things you don’t want to do, areas where you are disorganized or messy, decisions you are putting off, or desires within you that you’re ignoring. Pick one to evaluate. Be honest with yourself.
Write down why you are doing this. Have compassion with yourself, try to understand the benefit you seem to be getting from doing this.
Write down the long term effect this has on your ability to enjoy yourself and your life.
Write down what you would rather be doing instead. Note any fears you have about making this change and what it might require of you.
Now repeat this process each day this week on your self-confidence journey and learn to enjoy being you.
If you would like to continue this work with me, then schedule a free trial coaching session.
If you want to stop focusing on what you’ve given up and start loving your life abroad, then contact me now.
Do you find yourself questioning your decision to move abroad? Do you want to start feeling better now?
If so, then you need to take advantage of this exclusive opportunity to work with me, your Certified Life Coach and fellow expat.
Can’t wait to work with you.