Organizing Your Move Overseas Without The Drama

Moving is considered one of the top 5 stressful life events. Getting married is in the top 10. 

So you can imagine the state I was in while planning my wedding and my move overseas at the same time. One of the first fights I got into with my soon to be husband was about what I was planning on taking overseas with me. I was marrying a German who was already living in Berlin and I was planning on joining him right after our honeymoon. I was the only one moving. Luckily I was moving from one capital city, Washington DC, to another, Berlin. Therefore, we found an embassy container heading over that I could take half of for a reasonable fee.

At one point my fiance called from Germany and asked me to list what I was planning on taking. As I listed items, he asked me to estimate their worth. At the end of my list, with calculator noises in the background, he concluded it didn’t make sense to pay for the shipping as the items themselves were not worth the shipping costs. By then, I was in tears. I couldn’t imagine reducing my life, my memories, to a small sum of money. I made it very clear that I intended to surround myself with pieces of home regardless of the cost, and then I hung up on him.

Thankfully I didn’t have much space in the container, so I truly brought over only my most treasured pieces of furniture, memorabilia, clothing, etc. I got rid of a lot. I also packed up several boxes and left them in my parent’s basement. My father warned me that he would date the boxes and after five years, if anything was still there, he would throw it out. Needless to say, those boxes sat untouched for five years and despite my long distance protests, he threw them all out. I doubt I would have ever looked at those dusty high school yearbooks again!

I learned a lot from moving overseas, especially in hindsight. I have moved countless times since, so I have had the opportunity to learn from my early packing errors, and over time perfect the art of moving.

Jim Collins taught me in his book, Good to Great, that good is the enemy of great. Many people believe that if they keep all the good stuff, it will add up to great, but really, it just adds up to too much stuff. So we have to decide. We have to say GOODBYE. These are the two reasons most people have cluttered lives that are simply too much. 

Many of my clients tell me, “I just don’t know if I can let it go.” Or they think like I did that surrounding themselves with their old stuff will make them feel at home. But it will only give you a happy feeling if you truly love it.

I want to help you have a new home where every single thing serves you.

You want it there, and you like your reason. It serves you and your family members. It’s current – the best version of it for you. 

There is nothing in your home that you have to keep. Nothing. You don’t have to keep the blanket your grandma knitted you when you were five. Keeping it does not mean anything. It doesn’t make it valuable. It doesn’t make you love her more. It doesn’t make your memory better. Things aren’t people. Things aren’t love. We can keep memories and ideas and still say GOODBYE to things.

So when you are planning your move, systematically go through every space in your home.

Step 1: Take every single thing out and put it in a pile. You will not want to do this. You’ll tell yourself that you don’t have the time. Do it anyway. I recommend that you give yourself a time frame to get it done for each space. Don’t allow any longer than you have given yourself.

Step 2: Ask the 3 questions for each item. Do this quickly. Be strong and make a decision. Remember that there are no wrong decisions. Make a decision and then stand by it and support it. Based on the answers to these three questions, you will keep it or let it go:

• Is it serving me?
• Do I really want it?
• Is it current or outdated?

If you are keeping it, pack it.

Step 3: Say GOODBYE. If you’re letting it go, say GOODBYE. If someone might use it, put it in a box and donate it. Otherwise throw it away. It’s ok if it’s valuable. It’s ok if you never once used it. Put it in the box and donate it to charity. Don’t have a garage sale or put it on Craigslist. It will slow you down way too much. Give it away for someone else to use. It’s been wasted in your home. Let someone else have it. Your relationship with the item is complete. Take a photo if you want to remember, and then say GOODBYE. Be an adult. It’s just things. It’s just stuff. Saying GOODBYE requires strength. You have it.

Step 4: Create what you want. Now that you have gotten rid of what you don’t want, you will have space for what you do want. Once you get to your new place, embrace minimalism with clear counter tops and sparsely filled drawers. Make room for air in your life. Make room to breathe. Make room for the future.

Don’t be tempted to put things into storage. That is literally paying money to someone for stuff you aren’t using. How do we justify this to ourselves? The stuff that people cram into storage containers to not use blows my mind. We should not be allowed to have storage units. Period. We should be told no. Most likely it will end up like my boxes in my father’s basement – untouched for years. Eventually my father got stuck having to go through it all and throw it all out. No one should have to go through your abandoned stuff. If you don’t want to go through it, you can imagine that someone else wouldn’t want to either.

When you are planning your move, follow the directions to organize it. Take everything out. Ask the three questions of each item. Say GOODBYE. Create what you want once you get there. You will learn a lot about yourself from doing this process. You will be surrounded only by what you love and need, and have plenty of space for the future. An exciting new future abroad.