Liking Yourself

The first step towards enjoying yourself and your life is basic. You have to like yourself. Not easy for most of us.

This means… Listening to what you want. Telling the truth and saying no sometimes. Knowing your dreams and desires. Taking care of yourself for the long run. Working on your behalf.

To start paying closer attention to our dreams, we need to make amends to ourselves. If we have been disliking ourselves and people pleasing, we have most likely done some pretty cringy things we would rather ignore. Part of the process is to bring those things to the surface and let them go.

This process doesn’t mean we beat ourselves up, wear ourselves out, or force success. True power is created by listening and caring for yourself, using power and not force to do the hard things that are our true desires. It’s having your own back when it seems difficult. We don’t get stronger by doing the easy thing. 

Unfortunately, our brain is programmed to do the easy thing—for survival. Our brains are wired to survive, not thrive. We people please because our brains are literally wired to do this, not because anything is wrong with us. We have to consciously move out of survival mode and into thriving if we truly want to enjoy our experience. We need to embrace seeking discomfort in order to make our dreams come true. This includes all the cringy things I’ve done in the past, the mistakes I continue to make, and the people I sometimes disappoint.

I have found that the only true way to enjoy being myself is to actually be myself, the good and the not so good too. All of it. I let it be hard. I know the challenges are the point, and not that something has gone wrong. This is what makes life amazing. Enjoying the human who I am. Try this.

Try letting go of all the things we have done that we hold against ourselves. These things prevent us from truly enjoying our lives and ourselves. Pick one thing to let go, forgive yourself for, or understand on a deeper level. This will clear away resentment and pain to make way for more enjoyment. 

Pick one thing you have done that you regret, was embarrassing, that was painful, or you simply wish you hadn’t done. Write down all the painful, ugly, awful thoughts that relate to this. Now write down why you think you did it. Understand it from a compassionate perspective. 

Can you let this go?

Write down how you can release this from your mind and move on. Do you need to apologize to yourself in your mind? To someone else in your mind? What do you need to do to let it go?

Pick one thing each day this week. Make amends each day to find your way back to yourself and your desires; to let go and allow yourself to like who you truly are.