Holiday Wish List

It’s that time of year again, when I’m thinking of what to get others, and also of what I’d like to receive.

I’ll admit to searching online for gift ideas, where I was immediately bombarded with photos of the perfect things, wrapped perfectly. For about a second it made me feel inspired, and then it left me feeling overwhelmingly inadequate and moody.

According to social comparison theory, developed in the 1950’s by psychologist Festinger, we tend to measure our own well-being not by how we feel, but by how our lives compare to other people’s. The theory was developed decades before social media came onto the scene, but it really describes what happens there well. We stop tuning into how we actually feel, and spend our time instead checking out others and comparing ourselves to them, usually to our detriment. 

In the 1950’s, people were comparing themselves to their neighbors, and feeling as though they were coming up short. Nowadays, we compare ourselves to people all over the world, some of whom spend all their time, energy and money delivering well curated and filtered photos that even they can’t really live up to. Therefore it is no surprise that it often leaves us feeling as though we aren’t good enough.

The cure is to tune back in to you and how you actually feel. 

When we’re craving things we’ve been taught to want, we lose track of our inner motivations entirely and may spend a lifetime pursuing rewards that never make us feel truly fulfilled.

We all yearn for just a few things. They include peace, freedom, love, comfort and belonging.

Now how do I package that up for my husband? Any ideas?