There are many advantages that expats enjoy, such as experiencing new cultures, travelling to interesting places, meeting people from all over the world and having experiences you wouldn’t have in your home country. The flip side is that expats also face very trying situations that can lead to FRUSTRATION at the very least.
Moving into a completely new environment can challenge you in ways you have never been tested before. Life in a foreign country takes you out of the ‘comfort zone’ of your own culture and requires you to rely on yourself as you face new and unfamiliar situations.
Your personal view of how things should be or how they should work may clash with the reality of life in your new country.
You often have no control over circumstances that may happen. However, you always have the choice of how to react to them.
All circumstances in the world are actually neutral, neither good nor bad, until we have a thought about them. That’s important to realize. It’s your thoughts about the situation that will determine whether something is good or bad, not the situation itself. That’s why one person might consider a particular fruit delicious and another one find it distasteful. Because their thoughts about it, and what they think it should taste like are determining their enjoyment. Their taste buds are not actually determining it. The fruit doesn’t change its flavor either.
Realize how powerful your thoughts are in your overseas experience. That doesn’t mean you have to try to think that everything is always rosy and great. Some things you will want to think are bad. Seeing starving children might be something you want to think is bad for instance. However, notice how often you are immediately judging things in your new country as bad, when perhaps they are just different. Different doesn’t equal bad.
FRUSTRATION is usually a feeling we generate when we think things should be different than they really are. Again, realize it is your thoughts about the situation generating that feeling of FRUSTRATION. Thoughts that include the word ‘should’ are often at the root of FRUSTRATION. Ones like, “This should be easier.” “This shouldn’t happen.” “They shouldn’t be acting like that or saying things like that.” While I completely understand these feelings and have felt them myself, it is important that you realize what you are really doing is judging the current circumstances by the standards of your home culture, which might not be appropriate where you are now.
Something that can be far more helpful is to look at your situation with curiosity. Practice observation by looking at people with an anthropologist’s eye. How do they interact? Do they hold doors to let older people go through first? When they enter a room, do they greet or shake hands with everyone (as in Germany or Switzerland)? Become curious about the people, the customs, and the food in your new country. Look for all the wondrous ways this new place is different. Some things you may eventually want to adopt, and some not. Regardless you will certainly open up to new experiences and learn from new situations instead of continuously being disappointed when they don’t measure up to your home country expectations.
Another helpful technique when something goes wrong, is to ask yourself, “How can I find humor in this?” If you can, the inevitable FRUSTRATIONS of expat life will seem much more bearable, and you’ll have hilarious stories to tell too.
If things start to go wrong and FRUSTRATION sets in, don’t hesitate to speak to colleagues, neighbors, or other expats, state the problem, and find out what you can do about it. Sometimes we are too close to the situation to be able to see it objectively. Getting help or support whether it is from a professional, a fellow expat, or a stranger can help you see it from a different perspective.
With or without support, you will always experience some degree of FRUSTRATION abroad. When it hits, keep telling yourself that you are going to make it through the rough times. Others have done it and so can you. Try to take FRUSTRATIONS with a smile rather than blowing up. A sense of humor is an excellent coping mechanism. Seek out help when you need it.
If you would like professional help dealing with your FRUSTRATIONS abroad, then schedule a free trial coaching session.
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