I recently came across this quote from Jack Gilbert, a poet from my hometown of Pittsburgh, PA. “Be brave. Without bravery you will never be able to realize the vaulting scope of your own capacities. Without bravery, you will never know the world as richly as it longs to be known. Without bravery, your life will remain small – far smaller than you probably want your life to be.”
Most of us, if asked to describe ourselves in three words, would not use the word ‘brave.’ Why do we underestimate ourselves? I constantly think the amazing women around me are brave; for following their passions, for caring so deeply for their children, for showing up no matter what the circumstances are, and for their dedication to their health and fitness even through a pandemic. Yet I have heard each of these women that I know and love so well, speak openly about their fears and not their bravery.
I think it is so important that each of us take stock and catalog somewhere, all the ways, big and small, that we have been brave in our lives. Then when our fears and doubts seem overwhelming or have us stuck spinning in our heads, we can take this inventory out and remind ourselves how often we have been brave before. We should also write Jack Gilbert’s quote at the top of our bravery inventory, to remind us why we want to be brave; to live our fullest lives.
As an expat, it seems pretty obvious that uprooting to a foreign country will be on our list. Don’t forget all those smaller moments too. One that I remember is taking my first European road trip with a girlfriend, back in the days before GPS. We did an amazing job of navigating via a map through several countries and languages. It was really scary at the time, especially when we ended up in a pedestrian only area. But what I choose to remember most is the feeling of freedom and independence that I felt afterwards; like I could go anywhere and do anything and survive it. Because I had been brave, I was ready to take on so much more in my new expat life.
“Do you have the courage to bring forth the treasures that are hidden within you?” asked Jack Gilbert.
It pains me so much to watch my teenage daughter trying so hard to blend in, to disappear, in an attempt to belong. She is so brave, but really all she sees are her fears and self-doubt. So many of us are in this same boat. Please try making your own bravery inventory so that you can truly see how amazing you are, or help your daughter to make an inventory.
We spend our 20’s and 30’s trying so hard to be perfect, because we’re worried about what people will think of us. Then we get into our 40’s and 50’s, and we finally start to be free, because we decide that we don’t give a damn what anyone thinks of us. But you probably won’t be completely free until you reach your 60’s or 70’s, when you finally realize this liberating truth – nobody was ever thinking about you, anyhow. People are mostly just thinking about themselves. You are free, because everyone is too busy fussing over themselves to worry all that much about you. Go be whomever you want to be, then. Do whatever you want to do. Pursue whatever brings you to life.
You have treasures hidden within you; extraordinary treasures. Bringing those treasures to light takes courage and hours of devotion, and the clock is ticking. Be brave.
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Next time I read a blog, I hope that it doesnt disappoint me as much as this particular one. I mean, Yes, it was my choice to read through, but I really thought you would have something helpful to say. All I hear is a bunch of crying about something that you can fix if you were not too busy seeking attention.
Thank you for your feedback. I am sorry you found it so disappointing. I meant it as a positive post to let women know they are amazing, and a helpful way to remind yourelf of that is to take an inventory of all the times in your life you have been brave and bring that list out when you need a boost.