The second wave of COVID has arrived and the numbers show that at least where I am living, it has hit even harder than the first time. Yet the reactions from the government are far less restrictive. The reactions from people are different too. We are being asked to stay home again, but this time I don’t see FB watch parties, or Zoom cocktail hours happening. The hospitals are full again, but there aren’t the planned standing ovations for health workers, or heartwarming scenes of people visiting the elderly through the glass. Have we reached a point of COVID restriction fatigue?
Apparently there is an ancient Greek emotion, ACEDIA, that describes our pandemic emotions of boredom, fear, uncertainty and exhaustion. Not surprisingly, it was an affliction that monks used to suffer from back in medieval times. That’s right, apparently there used to be 8 deadly sins and not 7, and ACEDIA, was the 8th that disappeared when the influence of monks over society died out. No wonder all this social distancing and self-isolation has brought us back to an affliction that was commonplace in a solitary monastic life.
I was reading about this in a Greater Good article which cited writings from a 5th century monk about ACEDIA. “A mind “seized” by this emotion is “horrified at where he is, disgusted with his room. . . . It does not allow him to stay still in his cell or to devote any effort to reading.” He feels: such bodily listlessness and yawning hunger as though he were worn by a long journey or a prolonged fast. . . . Next he glances about and sighs that no one is coming to see him. Constantly in and out of his cell, he looks at the sun as if it were too slow in setting.” Wow, that describes so well the feelings of this pandemic! Social distancing limits physical contact. Lockdown constricts physical space and movement. Working from home or having lost work entirely both upend routines and habits. In these conditions, perhaps it’s time to bring back the term.
How does having a term, ACEDIA, for what we are feeling help?
If you go back to the blogpost on feelings, you know that we either allow and feel our emotions, resist them, or react to them. When we resist and fight against emotions, they last much longer, and we feel them more intensely. When we react to our emotions, we start to feel out of control and revert to toddler temper tantrum actions, or in this case perhaps give in to sloth like behaviors. The healthiest option is to allow and feel our emotions as the vibrations that they are within our body.
For me, ACEDIA feels like a hollow, empty space in my chest that is followed by a tight feeling. When I allow this feeling, and greet it, and allow myself to feel it, I can recognize what is happening in my body and realize the thoughts I am having that are generating this feeling. This feeling will pass through me like a wave and then I can examine my thoughts behind that emotion and decide consciously if those thoughts are serving me, or if I should look for other thoughts to consciously direct my brain to that would better serve me.
For me, the thought is “It’s been almost 10 months of not being able to travel and connect with others in the way that I want to, and I don’t see an end in sight.” While in many ways this sentence is true, in many others it is an exaggeration. I have been able to work, see small groups of people, get outside, and to travel within my country and the bordering countries. I have not been living a solitary, monastic lifestyle. Because there have been restrictions in place for 10 months, my mind is exaggerating the consequences and making it far worse than it has actually been.
When I focus my brain on more neutral thoughts like this wave is almost over, or more positive thoughts like I am enjoying the slower pace of life, then my feelings change, which creates more useful actions on my part and rewards me with better results in my life. I take better care of myself and can focus on the goals I want to achieve.
So being able to name what we are feeling, ACEDIA, helps us to get in touch with the emotion. The article also says that it could legitimize these feelings of listlessness and anxiety as valid emotions without inducing guilt that others have things worse.
They also pointed out that when an experience can be named, it can be communicated and even shared, which may help with the feelings of emotional isolation, that terrible sense that this thing I feel is mine alone.
Lastly, naming and expressing experiences allows us some control to deal with them better. Right now, feeling in control is important to take our power back over our brain and the life we want to create.
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Thanks! Let me know if there are any specific topics you want me to focus on.