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Relationships are like assignments for personal growth, therefore they are not always easy. They’re magnifying glasses through which we can view what does and does not work in how we’re relating to other people. Am I here to judge you? Or to forgive you? The answers will determine what happens next.
But how do we get work done, have reasonable expectations, and not get taken advantage of? The answer is, “Far more easily.”
The only thing lacking in any situation is what we’re not giving. Our brains are continually seeking any possible evidence of another’s guilt, that we might attack, judge, criticize and blame them. Its ultimate purpose is not to hurt them, however, as much as it is to hurt us.
My brain decides I need you to behave a certain way in order to make my world okay. What I really need is to release my grip on your emotions, thoughts, feelings, and life. We can stop thinking that anyone or anything external to ourselves is the source of our happiness.
The most powerful defense we have is to train our minds. The key to attracting, maintaining and healing relationships is to fill our minds with thoughts that help create the results you want. See how these thoughts can open your mind to relationships:
- I don’t need anyone else to make me whole. I am whole already.
- My function is to love.
- What I give to others, I give to myself. What I withhold from others, I withhold from myself.
What are the barriers you erect to love, the ways you sabotage your relationships? Are you needy, controlling, dishonest, manipulative, avoidant, addictive, too hot, too cold, self-centered, or smothering? These are symptoms of where we’re actually wounded inside, and they are our responsibility now. Our wounds come to the surface and are exposed in relationships in order to be healed.
Relationships are where we come to heal because we are not at our best within them. They put a magnifying glass on our weaknesses. That is their purpose.
If I only meet people who bring out my best, then there are probably some lessons left unlearned. It’s in those places where our unconscious wounds are made conscious that we have the opportunity to heal them, because only then can we see them. Until then, they were just silently reeking havoc in our lives.
None of us is perfect, and in relationships we are bound to make mistakes. If I forgive your errors, I give us both the chance to feel love. And that feels a lot better than holding onto resentment, and blame.
If you would like to continue this work with me, then schedule a free trial coaching session.
If you want to stop focusing on what you’ve given up and start creating the life you want abroad, then contact me now.
Do you find yourself questioning your decision to move abroad? Do you want to start feeling better now?
If so, then you need to take advantage of this exclusive opportunity to work with me, your Certified Life Coach and fellow expat.
Can’t wait to work with you.