THOUGHTS create feelings.
Beliefs are THOUGHTS you think over and over. Beliefs create states of being.
Thinking THOUGHTS that create confidence and believing them is a skill.
Most beliefs are based on past experiences, which we just recycle for current circumstances. Familiar thinking is comfortable and predictable. We don’t even realize how much self-doubt and anxiety our beliefs produce because we’ve always THOUGHT this way.
Here are examples of THOUGHTS based on past experiences that we tend to recycle that create self-doubt:
- Failure is weakness.
- I don’t know how.
- The less risk I take, the better.
- Confidence is either something you have or you don’t.
- Fear means you aren’t confident.
- Rejection is the worst thing that can happen.
- I’m not good enough.
Fear doesn’t prevent self-confidence; the unwillingness to feel fear does. We have to be willing to experience discomfort in order to be self-confident.
Are you ready to get out of your own way, and start building your self-confidence? One way you can do that is to confront your doubts up front. Write about everything you are currently afraid of that holds you back. Don’t be shy. Go for the worst case scenarios. Evaluate what you think would be horrible about failing. Anticipate getting into trouble or danger with your newfound confidence. Include the fear and the reason.
What I’m Afraid of: I’m scared of making a mistake.
Why I’m Afraid: People will reject me.
Once you have been willing to think the scary THOUGHTS and feel the negative feelings, you can start building your self-confidence by choosing THOUGHTS that produce the feeling of confidence.
Here are some examples of THOUGHTS and beliefs that can produce self-confidence:
- I was made for this.
- My potential is limitless.
- What I make it mean is the worst that can happen.
- Moving forward and taking action increases self-confidence.
- Make decisions and honor them.
- Failure earns success.
- Worry only pretends to be necessary.
- Do the stuff you are scared to do. Repeat.
Another way to build your self-confidence is not just to think these THOUGHTS that produce self-confidence, but to dare yourself to take action too. I invite you to join me in the ‘Dare of the Day’ challenge.
Here are the ‘Dare of the Day’ rules:
- Pick one thing per day that scares you, and do it.
- It has to be something that requires you to ‘get over a fear’.
- Write about it before and after.
- Try to complete a dare as many days as possible for the rest of this month.
- Don’t violate the COVID safety precautions or other laws where you are living.
If you commit to doing this now, you will not be as likely to back out when the day comes. So choose to do this to get good at being self-confident.
Feel free to share your dares and to follow my dares on Facebook and Instagram at XPatLifeCoaching. I dare you.