This month I am focusing on designing an ambitious goal for 2021. Many of my clients have been struggling this year with feeling like their life has been put on hold. They don’t feel in control of their lives. Battling COVID-19 in March, my stamina was deeply affected. I scaled back to what was essential because I thought that was taking care of myself. That meant that some of my plans also got put on hold.
For myself and my clients, I think an ambitious jump start to 2021 is imperative for getting back in control and focusing on designing the life of our dreams. I know many of you are thinking, “But I still can’t do the things I want to because of pandemic restrictions on socializing and traveling.” Or you are stuck in the cycle of uncertainty that this pandemic has fostered. Aren’t you getting sick of the excuses? Don’t you want to focus on what you can and what you want to do instead?
Did you know that one of the best ways to regain control is to set yourself goals? Goals give you direction. They create a deliberate focus for your brain. Without focus, our brain is like an unsupervised child that often goes to thoughts that hurt, that are detrimental, or that don’t serve us. If we’re focused on a goal or something we want to achieve, deliberately concentrating tells the brain what to do by providing it with structure and supervision. This is a great way to combat the intense feelings of listlessness, frustration and anxiety that have plagued us in 2020.
Your life does not just happen to you. You don’t just live it as if it were already preprogrammed and you’re just the one walking through it like you’re walking through a forest and you just see what comes. You get to actually plan it. You get to look at the map, you get to look at the GPS, you get to decide where you want to go. You get to decide how you’re going to get there, how often you want to stop, how far you want to go, how high you want to go, all of it. You get to plan all of it.
If you’re the one responsible for planning your life you have to make a decision to do that. There’s your first big decision, that you’re going to take charge and plan your own life and take responsibility for it. Once you’ve made that decision, you have to make many, many, many little decisions within that big decision to actually do it. That’s what we are working on this month.
I want you to think about just one thing right now that you want in your life. Just one. Think about that thing. What is your plan for getting it?
Most people never achieve their goals because they’re afraid to FAIL.
One of the 1st things that happens when we set any goal is that the brain seizes up and tells us why it’s a bad idea and won’t happen. Often at this point, we scale our goal back to be more realistic and reasonable (i.e. comfortable). We repeat this process until we end up making very little progress. This is why we shy away from goal setting. We don’t want to be uncomfortable and ultimately disappointed because we know we won’t follow through. But if you start with a different way of thinking about it, your brain can’t scale back to comfort.
What if you already know that it is super ambitious and that you will FAIL? Now what? Maybe you think if I’m going to FAIL, why bother? Because the alternative is also FAILING – FAILING ahead of time.
FAILING ahead of time is still FAILURE, but you learn nothing and don’t grow. FAILING ahead of time is not following through on commitments, not taking action, changing your mind, staying confused, lowering the standard, making excuses, distracting yourself, and giving up. It is not even giving yourself the opportunity to try, to make mistakes, to learn from those mistakes and get better until you figure it out.
FAILING is how we learn and grow. But that’s not why we are making an ambitious goal. We aren’t willing to FAIL so we can win eventually. We are FAILING to learn how to FAIL and learn from FAILURE. You never know where your FAILURES might lead you. But your FAILURES ahead of time are guaranteed to lead you nowhere.
When you set a goal, and go after it with a willingness to FAIL, you gain enormous wisdom, experience, understanding, and self-knowledge. These are often more valuable than the attainment of the goal.
“FAILURE is the state or condition of not meeting a desirable or intended objective”, according to Google. It even states, “The criteria for FAILURE depends on context.” I think that means that we are the ones who decide what FAILURE means to us. You can choose to think it means something negative. You could fear it, and think it is shameful. Or you could choose to change how you feel about FAILURE. What if you just said, “It didn’t turn out the way I wanted it to, so I will try again until it does?”
What are you willing to work hard on even if you don’t achieve it? A goal that you would love to put your heart and soul into even if you FAIL completely. When you think about it, you are FAILING right up until you succeed.
There is nothing that you genuinely want that you can’t have. What you want is really important information. In fact, I think what you want is the GPS direction to the life that you’re meant to have.
I hope you will join me this month in designing an ambitious goal. The first step is to brainstorm what goal you want to focus on in 2021. Do you have a goal you would be thrilled to accomplish, but you haven’t been going after? Make a list with goals you would like to focus on. Let your mind explore without shutting anything down.
After this year, we all deserve to have a great 2021. So we shouldn’t just set a goal. We should design a truly ambitious goal. One that is something we really want to achieve but have been afraid to dream. One that would be worth FAILING at along the way.
That’s why I created the “Designing an Ambitious Goal” program, which includes a free guide, access to free accompanying lessons, and optional one-on-one coaching to help you design your ambitious goal and reach it in 2021.
Get your free copy of the Designing an Ambitious Goal Guide here:
My goal is to empower expats all over the world to create the life they’ve always wanted. You can run on autopilot and keep getting through this week, month, year or life. Or you can deliberately choose to maximize your potential and create an extraordinary life.
Please take advantage of this free download so you can stop waiting for things to change and start designing the life of your dreams one ambitious goal at a time.